I was recently asked by a few of our clients “Do you think trust is given or earned?” I have to admit I stammered through a response.
Now that I have had time to reflect, my answer is, “It’s not either/or. It’s AND!”
Trust is BOTH given and earned. And it is in fact complicated!
Because of our unique gifting and backgrounds, some people can be slow to warm up in relationships. Others warm up fast! Some people can be slow to withdraw from certain aspects of relationships while others ‘bail out’ quickly! Some people have learned wonderfully useful skills in communicating expectations and mending fences when those expectations are broken. Others are still on a journey to learn these skills.
In my own life, I have some relationships where trust is high, and even when tough times come along, we can talk through what needs to go differently. I also have some really painful situations and because I don’t have the skills (yet!) or the other person doesn’t have the skills (yet!), trust is broken and not (yet) repaired. In my soul, hope springs eternal (note my YETs!). My door is always open to anyone who wants to journey with me to healing and restoration when trust isn’t going so well or has been broken in the past.
I’ve been blessed to have learned about trust by reading and listening to both Dr. Brené Brown and Dr. Stephen Covey on the topic of trust. Our consulting group has been working with several clients on the topic of trust – how it is built and what to do when it is broken. Teaching these topics has been a great way for me to better understand my own role when trust is challenged, and I’ve been exercising new muscles in these areas.
I’d love the opportunity to be given your trust to share what I’ve been learning personally and from what our clients have taught me as well.